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Having What Matters
A book editor suggested that Monique Greenwood write
a self-help title for black women on the 20th anniversary
of Helen Gurley Brown's best-seller Having It All: Love,
Success, Sex, Money, Even Starting with Nothing. The
problem was that Greenwood thought that much of what
Brown had to say was no longer relevant. It's far more
fulfilling, not to mention more realistic, she argues,
to focus instead on having what matters. Here
are a few of her tips on doing that.
Write it down. Greenwood's big breakthrough-the
realization that she needed to leave Essence and run
her own businesses-came through writing her book. But
a daily journal will do. The point is to make
a habit of quiet reflection in which you express your
thoughts and feelings, free of inhibition. Your
priorities will emerge.
Learn to say no. This continues to be a hard
one for Greenwood, who admits that she suffers from "the
disease to please." First be honest about the "things
that don't give you joy and that drain you," she says. Then
be tenacious. Once you get over the hump of saying
no and accept the fact that it might disappoint others,
it gets easier.
Follow your intuition, but do you homework. Greenwood
did not draw up a traditional business plan before
opening her fir B&B, but she did prepare herself. She
attended Inn Deep, a weeklong course in Cape May, and
visited dozens of B&Bs. Greenwood discovered
for herself what made a positive impression (journals
in every guest room, innkeepers who remembered your
name) and what undermined a visit (too many family
photos, so that it felt as though you were invading
someone's home).
Decide on your personal definition of success. There's
no right answer, no matter what friends, parents, and
colleagues tell you. Greenwood came to realize
that success for her meant being her own boss. So
she made a point of opening each of her businesses
on the Fourth of July, as "a declaration of my personal
independence."
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